Tuesday
Nov282006
Bats, America, and Dorritos
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 at 8:16PM
We get lots of weird stuff in our mail bins at KSCR, stuff that we wouldn't play even if pigs flew. Heck, not even if a mastodon flew, and those guys are way fatter and more extinct. Don’t get us wrong. We certainly appreciate the way artists risk ridicule and rejection to get their stuff heard. But sometimes the stench is as pungent as ammonia, and there’s just no ignoring it. Here’s the first in a collection of glimpses into a world of oddities.
As you can already tell from the powder makeup and black lipstick, Batlord's soul is as dark and desolate as a bottomless pit. Considering this, it's a bit strange seeing him lurk around KSCR as much as he does. If I was an evil lord, I'd sit in the Oval Office on a throne made of human bones, with a hundred naked virgins laying at my feet, and a hoard of flying monkeys fetching me boxes of PS3s. I certainly wouldn't spend my time behind a computer, spamming people with emails and trying to plug a third-rate album to a college station.
My initial thought was Hey, this Kevin guy is a smart fella. He’s totally into satirizing the American condition. But Kevin isn’t joking…not even close. He really really wants us to know that he loves America. He’s got 12 tracks of Gaye-lite R&B with Bush-ultra lyrics. He’s even dyed his hair white for that founding father look. Maybe if you look at the back of your $2 bill, you’ll see Kevin in the background, raising the roof as Jefferson signs the declaration. I’m not saying that patriotism is uncool. But a lack of musicianship and all-around bad taste (did you see the cover?) is totally uncool. A few notes…
1. It’s not cool to have the Star Spangled Banner as one of your tracks
2. It’s not cool to call on the services of a Jimmy Stewart impersonator
3. It’s not cool to have inane intro tracks
4. It’s definitely not cool for a black dude to write and sing tracks called “APD Rock (Dedicated to All Law Enforcement Officers)� and “Climb The Ladder�
5. And it’s not cool when your album is on CDbaby.com, and some soccer mom has this to say about your album: “I really like this clean fresh music, that my kids can listen to. I like the message it conveys. It makes you realize how proud we should be for our American Heros [sic]. Keep the music coming, I will be looking for more!�
Want to know what Kevin thinks about capitalism, education, racism, and America in general? Take a listen:
Kevin - "Climb the Ladder"
We get a bit suspicious when a promotional move comes off as being hokey and desperate. It tells us that the artist isn’t confident enough in his/her own material, and thinks it prudent to tie in an incentive for us to play their music. Koko Butta (that’s butta, not butter) had their agent come to us with a Halloween-themed gift basket. We overlooked the CD that came with the offering, but gladly devoured the healthy servings of Dorritos and mini-Crunch bars. On a separate note, a mouse that had invaded the office gnawed through a bag of Lays. It, too, passed on Koko Butta’s album.
As you can already tell from the powder makeup and black lipstick, Batlord's soul is as dark and desolate as a bottomless pit. Considering this, it's a bit strange seeing him lurk around KSCR as much as he does. If I was an evil lord, I'd sit in the Oval Office on a throne made of human bones, with a hundred naked virgins laying at my feet, and a hoard of flying monkeys fetching me boxes of PS3s. I certainly wouldn't spend my time behind a computer, spamming people with emails and trying to plug a third-rate album to a college station.
My initial thought was Hey, this Kevin guy is a smart fella. He’s totally into satirizing the American condition. But Kevin isn’t joking…not even close. He really really wants us to know that he loves America. He’s got 12 tracks of Gaye-lite R&B with Bush-ultra lyrics. He’s even dyed his hair white for that founding father look. Maybe if you look at the back of your $2 bill, you’ll see Kevin in the background, raising the roof as Jefferson signs the declaration. I’m not saying that patriotism is uncool. But a lack of musicianship and all-around bad taste (did you see the cover?) is totally uncool. A few notes…
1. It’s not cool to have the Star Spangled Banner as one of your tracks
2. It’s not cool to call on the services of a Jimmy Stewart impersonator
3. It’s not cool to have inane intro tracks
4. It’s definitely not cool for a black dude to write and sing tracks called “APD Rock (Dedicated to All Law Enforcement Officers)� and “Climb The Ladder�
5. And it’s not cool when your album is on CDbaby.com, and some soccer mom has this to say about your album: “I really like this clean fresh music, that my kids can listen to. I like the message it conveys. It makes you realize how proud we should be for our American Heros [sic]. Keep the music coming, I will be looking for more!�
Want to know what Kevin thinks about capitalism, education, racism, and America in general? Take a listen:
Kevin - "Climb the Ladder"
We get a bit suspicious when a promotional move comes off as being hokey and desperate. It tells us that the artist isn’t confident enough in his/her own material, and thinks it prudent to tie in an incentive for us to play their music. Koko Butta (that’s butta, not butter) had their agent come to us with a Halloween-themed gift basket. We overlooked the CD that came with the offering, but gladly devoured the healthy servings of Dorritos and mini-Crunch bars. On a separate note, a mouse that had invaded the office gnawed through a bag of Lays. It, too, passed on Koko Butta’s album.
in News
News
Reader Comments (1)
tim,
GENIOUS.
please do more of these.
:D
steph